Dear Diary,   It was early October and Daddy needed a present!  He may have needed another wallet because I poked a hole in my leather pants and patched them with his wallet, but then again, it might have been for another reason.  What better place for a wallet than Bloomingdale's?!  "Omg hi!" "Hi." "Can I pay for this here?" "Yes." "So... how are things?" "They are well.  Are you preparing for the holiday of Halloween?" "Omg yes!  I wonder what I should be?" "I don't know.  Will you be eating pumpkin pie?" "I guess.  How bout you?" "Oh sorry, I'm a vegan." "What?  Pumpkins are vegetables!  What about tofu pumpkins?" "Don't be ridiculous.  I don't eat tofu." "Oh.  Uh... I'm a little creeped out by you." "Yes, I do enjoy the Asian spices from time to time, though I find them to be relatively acidic." "I don't care." "Acid is bad." "Mister I want my wallet and then I'm going to leave." "I'm afraid I can't do that Michelle." "Why not?" "This wallet is made out of cow." "Well duh, I had to pick something made out of animal if I wanted to pay with my foodstamps." "I can't touch cow products." "I was joking about the foodstamps." "I'm afraid I'm going to have to teach you a lesson about animal cruelty." "It's okay, I watch the OC already, things get pretty bad there."   Mister crazy bald black guy man drew a tranquilizer dart gun and shot me!  It got very dark... - Michelle Update:  When I woke up I was in a raft heading towards a boat called the Rainbow Warrior!  Ahhh!!!! - Michelle Update2: Oh by the way, shopping at Bloomingdale's might be a bad idea unless you like getting shot by a guy who looks like Shaft.  Except without the hair.  You know the Samuel Jackson version.  Well I guess that just means that he looks like Samuelthol.  Yeah.